It's strike three for Sony Pictures Animation, and it doesn't help that their first film since this one is undoubtedly going to be a strike four. This is why I have mixed feelings about the LEGO sequels - Horrible Bosses was hilarious, but the writers of that also wrote Burt Wonderstone. They eventually moved on to this, a sequel to a wonderful movie with intelligent writers and directors that thinks rehashing the jokes from the first one will keep it witty.

Remember when Brent was that manbaby mascot for seafood? Let's throw him in there so he can utter "uh-oh" every time we see him and make fun of how fat he is!

Remember when everyone took a few seconds to realise what Steve did with his poop? Let's have him smear his poop on a piece of paper that will later get dumped into delicious, edible liquid!

Woah. People actually laughed at that leek joke we just came up with. Hey, let's do it again but with Flint's dad! Same with the Mr. T......erry Crewes cop tears gag! It's always funny the second time around!

The problem here is that Lord and Miller were there to provide the story and executive approval, but not much else. And with the scribes of, um, The Internship and, eh, Girl Most Likely as the scribes of LEGO 2, I'll have doubts for the next few years if the producer credit is really worth it.

Basically, this does to the original book what Illumination did to The Lorax. Alongside environmental propaganda, it just concentrates on being wacky and cartoonish rather than clever. That, and the performances of Kristen Schaal and Will Forte are unusually boring. If this meddling is the same case with Genndy Tartakovsky's future projects after Hotel 2 and Lauren Faust's Medusa, then I've lost all faith in Sony.

The movie's lack of appeal isn't the worst thing about it - it's just so goddamned bizzare. While I do admire its inclusion of some of the darkest scenarios in the original fairy tales, and the overall production values, it incorporates elements of stage productions like that it was based on that do not make sense in filmed entertainment - the mixture of accents, for example. Oh, we're used to it in animation, but it feels out of place and without contrast in a live-action movie made like this. James Corden's singing does not help either.

They had the budget to add effects that would make Johnny Depp's wolf an actual wolfman, but he's just a cannibal with makeup that somehow ate two human beings whole, with a regular-sized human jaw. Something deviantART people would be able to make a decent theory out of.

Also, I'll be quite baffled if Meryl Streep gets nominated for an Oscar this time because most of the time in her character's presence her performance was pretty flipping hammy.

I have not seen the play. Of course, I haven't really seen much plays. But the play went beyond PG. If they made it truer to the play, then Touchstone would have been made useful for once.

Besides, they've already got a live-action Cinderella coming in a couple of months.

Whoops.

Oh man, this film that I used to love became outdated so fast, especially after having revisited so many Disney classics before it. I just didn't laugh as much as I used to. The animation and visual design are still dazzling and it packs in nostalgia aplenty, but notice the clichéd character chemistry courtesy of other studios, the gross-out humour and the extra product placement and it's clear that John Lasseter wants to turn Disney into just another DreamWorks.

One of the sexiest films ever made according to Tumblr. It has its moments as well as catchy songs, pretty colours and fun character development, but aside from all the sexy characters the writing unfortunately is terribly bland and it isn't sure who exactly it's aiming for; the way said songs are written doesn't help either. Kiddies will be dancing to these songs but with phrases like "terra incognita" they should be pulled into the story as well, like in The Lion King. I miss when DreamWorks added more adult material to their animation, but at the same time they needn't force it.

Basically, it's El Dorado-kay.

It surprised me less than Paddington, with more jokes about what comes out of a reindeer's arse than the trailer convinced us, but what really surprised me about this film was how un-cartoonish it was for a family film about Father Christmas. I guess I should've seen it coming, this being a film with Ridley Scott's credit and all, but it felt fresh and unconventional compared to other films of its kind, with an affecting bond between a kid and his ex-dad. Roast your heart and eat it out, Nativity.

So this is based on a story where only a man made it out alive. Oh, thank goodness. There hasn't been anything like this since the original Evil Dead! Plus, it's based on real events and they hardly ever screw that kind of film up, even when it's bad. This could be scary. I'm watching the hell out of this!

*watches the hell out of it*




Fuck.