Mystery Science Theater 3000 : Season 5

Movie Plot: In a post-apocalyptic world, a woman hires the Warrior to rescue her father. On the SOL: Servo can't handle the pressure of introducing the show / Joel invents candy hearts with adult messages like "Get Out!" / Crow and Servo race slot cars / The crew discusses all the cool stuff they would do after the apocalypse, like play stickball on the interstate / the Crew calls the Megaweapon from the movie. In Deep 13: The mads invent some fitness equipment / The Mads discover the good

Movie Plot: Hercule and Ulysses go on a quest to find the Golden Fleece. On the SOL: The Crew tries to improvise a skit / Tom, Joel, and Crow unveil "Instant Karma." / Two Amazon Women visit the SOL, the 'bots are VERY happy to see them. In Deep 13: Dr. Forrester invents a portable desk that you wear / Frank accidentally hits Dr. Forrester in the groin with the portable desk.

Movie Plot: A bunch of female convicts escape from prison and search for a hidden stash of diamonds. Also riffed was the short "What to do on a Date." On the SOL: The Crew invents a grill that burns Andrew Lloyd Webber songs / Servo wants to ask out Gypsy, Joel and Crow offer tips like those in the short / Gypsy and Tom go on a date, but they break up because she just wants to be friends. In Deep 13: The mads invent a tv camera that shows you what you would be doing if you weren't watching

Movie Plot: A secret agent comes out of retirement to bust a drug ring. On the SOL: Tom and Servo make a new robot / the crew presents Micro golf, a microscopic golf course / the Crew form a jazz group to make fun of the movie's soundtrack / Joel explains to the 'bots about schools for prosperous spies / the crew attends Dr. Forrester's lecture on Super-villainy. In Deep 13: Dr. Forrester is at a class reunion, so Frank sends the movie. He opens up a virtual reality club in Deep 13. / Dr.

Movie Plot: Sinbad returns home from a trip to find his people in need of great help. On the SOL: Crow fixes an award show, much to Servo's chagrin / Joel invents a cheese set modeled after the Rat Pack / the Crew acts like the Jester from the movie / Crow fires himself out the air lock to go on a voyage like Sinbad. In Deep 13: The Mads present "Chin-derwear." It is exactly what you think it is.

Movie Plot: Story of a caveman in modern times. Really dumb. Intro: Servo attempts to freeze Crow to absolute zero. Joel interrupts the experiment and shatters Crow. Segment One: Joel has fixed Crow...sort of. In Deep 13, Dr. Forrester replaces Frank's blood with anti-freeze. Segment Two: The Crew discusses the workings of Hell. Segment Three: The 'bots do some disastrous plastic surgery on Joel, to make him look like Arch Hall Jr. from the movie. Segment Four: The crew discusses why

Movie Plot: A teenager's dysfunctional family life leads him into trouble with a night club dancer and the mob. Also riffed was the short: "The Truck Farmer." Intro: Crow paints Servo flesh toned because he has "Pinocchio Syndrome". Segment One: Joel invents an organizer for your junk drawer that holds some really odd stuff. In Deep 13, the Mads invent a cake mix that includes an exotic dancer, who is accidentally baked into the cake by Frank. Segment Two: The crew re-enacts the night

Movie Plot: The evil "Mr. Thayer" attempts to take over the world by freezing all machinery. Stars Sean Connery's brother, Neil. On the SOL: Joel shows some old home movies / Crow invents a variation on the bird that dips and drinks from a glass of water / Joel, mocking the cheesy visuals of the movie, wants a back rub / the crew compares the careers of the Connery brothers / Dr. Forrester's magnetizer causes the 'bots to stick to the walls. An old Russian satellite, complete with dog, also

Movie Plot: A couple of drifters deal with love and prostitution. On the SOL: Crow and Servo get belly buttons / Joel mixes fashionable footwear with cartoon feet / Crow and Servo try to suck an egg into a vacuum. In Deep 13: The Mads present ideas for evil handouts at sports events like "Brass Knuckle Night" / Dr. Forrester puts a railroad spike through Frank's head.

Movie Plot: A story about a gold miner who is betrayed and the dog that seeks out justice for him. Stars Lassie as Shep the dog. Also riffed was the short "Body Care and Grooming." On the SOL: the 'bots put on a late-night show / the crew invents a subliminal message machine / Crow and Servo debate if the woman in the short was better off clean of dirty / Servo tries melting down Crow for the gold. Unfortunately, it turns out he's made of Kevlar / the crew discusses whether Shep had the right

Movie Plot: A Roger Corman spaghetti western. Not much else worth saying about it. On the SOL: Joel, Crow, and Gypsy take turns popping Servo's new balloon head / the SOL creates several whiffle-type products / Gypsy and Crow are the SOL's version of the Pony Express / the crew compares the 1870s with the 1970s. In Deep 13: The Mads invent a day planner that makes peoples heads explode. Of course, Frank becomes its first victim.

Movie Plot: Mitchell is a cop who doesn't follow proper policy. He messes up everything in the movie yet manages to come out the hero. Intro: Joel shows the 'bots his toothpick Monticello model. They, of course, plot its destruction. Segment One: The 'bots have destroyed Monticello. In Deep 13, the Mads are being audited, so they have hired a temp to help get things organized. Frank enjoys yelling at the temp, a guy named Mike Nelson. Segment Two: Joel and the bots go on an Outward Bound

Movie Plot: A mad scientist keeps the head of his fiancée alive in a dish in his lab. On the SOL: The 'bots train Mike on how to riff movies / Mike invents an umbrella with gutters / Mike accidentally ruins an attempt to return to earth / the crew tries to find the right hat for Jan, the head from the movie / Jan visits the SOL. In Deep 13: Dr. Forrester invents a machine that pops dream bubbles of kids / Dr. Forrester tries to decapitate Frank.

Movie Plot: A serial killer is attacking teen-age girls. Also riffed was the short "Is this Love?" On the SOL: Mike calls his grandmother for help to escape, but she isn't home / the crew discusses celebrity romances / Mike sings the Janitor Song. In Deep 13: Dr. Forrester has Frank in a giant harness that lets him bounce all day long, which ends up making Frank sick.

Movie Plot: A really bad movie about Batwoman going against a mad scientist. Also riffed was the short "Cheating." On the SOL: The crew plays blackjack / the 'bots write essays on cheating / the crew tries to decide how to deal with Crow's cheating problem. In Deep 13: Frank invents the Atomic Hair Dryer / Dr. Forrester's new hair causes Frank to run away screaming.

Movie Plot: Wanda goes to Atlantis to rescue her missing father. On the SOL: Crow orders Mike and Servo like a drill sergeant / Mike invents fridge udders for milk extraction / the crew sings "My Wild Irish Ireland". In Deep 13: The Mads invent a vending machine for donor organs / Frank needs a new liver and tries to put $250,000 in quarters into the vending machine.

Movie Plot: Chicago is attacked by giant grasshoppers. Intro: The SOL gets a call from an upset lady looking for her husband. Segment One: In Deep 13, Dr. Forrester has invented the re-comfy bike. On the SOL, the crew invent new playing cards. Servo's card, Todd, is too annoying for Mike. Segment Two: Mike decided to call the Mads to complain about the movie. We get to see a rather disturbing glimpse of the Mads private life. Segment Three: Crow writes a screenplay about Peter Graves and

Movie Plot: A mad scientist does odd experiments on peoples brains. Nothing Atomic is involved. On the SOL: The crew performs a Broadway-style musical / Mike and the 'bots mock the Mads mercilessly / Servo goes out into space to report the weather / Magic Voice chats with the movie's narrator. In Deep 13: The Mads retaliate Mike's taunting by dressing as the SOL crew.

Movie Plot: Cobot travels through time and is framed for murder in a strange civilization. On the SOL: Mike tells the bots about his old acting career / the crew reads excerpt from the autobiography of Jack Palance. In Deep 13: The Mads have invented a time machine / Frank and Dr. Forrester dance.

Movie Plot: The US Government uses radar technology to capture criminals. Also riffed was the short "The Last Clear Chance." On the SOL: Mike sets off Crow's Horshack device / Mike ties various items together and tries to climb down to Earth from the SOL / the 'bots put on a class reunion for Mike. In Deep 13: The Mads try to numb the brains of the SOL crew.

Movie Plot: Satan sends Pitch, one of his demons, to harass Santa by making the world's children evil. On the SOL: The Crew tries caroling, but it soon breaks down / The crew exchanges Christmas gifts / the 'bots try to get Mike in touch with his family, but get a wrong number / the 'bots sing a politically correct Christmas carol. In Deep 13: The Mads exchange gifts / both Santa and Pitch stop by for a visit and end up wrestling each other.

Movie Plot: A group of delinquent teens commit one crime, not a wave of them. On the SOL: The Crew tries to escape / The SOL opens a deli, with sandwiches named after movies. In Deep 13: Dr. Forrester invents perfume mixed with mace / Frank orders a sandwich from the SOL deli / Dr. Forrester sprays Frank with the mace-perfume.

Movie Plot: A bunch of teenagers in a small town grow to be a huge size. On the SOL: The crew does some exercising / Mike makes juice out of anything / the crew sings a tribute to Frank. In Deep 13: Dr. Forrester lays Frank off / Frank asks the SOL for a job interview so he can lie to unemployment / Torgo injures Dr. Forrester so Frank can get re-hired.

Movie Plot: Astronauts go to the moon, sparking a battle between the lunar beings and Earth. Also riffed was the short: "Design for Dreaming." Intro: Gypsy holds a tea party. Segment One: Servo and Gypsy play tennis. In Deep 13, Frank hosts a Dean Martin roast of Dr. Forrester Segment Two: Nuveena, the girl from the future, visits the SOL and tempts Mike and the 'bots into moving to the future with her. Segment Three: The crew gets annoyed at Nuveena's singing. Segment Four: Mike