Alas Smith and Jones : Season 3

British Gas stakeout / Opening titles / Dead guests / Reckless driver ("I bet he drinks Carling Black Label") / Ayushi XL20 stereo system / Theatrical agent for South Africa / Cannabis judge / Middle Eastern correspondent / Head to head - money / Kwik Fit advert parody / Bomb disposal team / "Just say no thank you" / Bingo (proposed motorway route) / One Man and Somebody Else's Dog / Collective nouns / Funeral / End credits / Weather report (children's paintings)

Country code / Opening titles / Chess match / Dog porn cinema / Suicide jumpers / Making an advert out of a crisis / Topical references (George Davis, Cruise missiles, Kathy Kirby) / Police search (golf) / Home made video (new camera) / Points of View letter (accents) / Head to head - astrology / Overpaid reporters / Swellings / Minor MP (song) / Head to head - Friday the 13th / Author menaced by a window cleaner / Baby businessmen (restaurant) / News with subtitles for the militant tendency /

Author menaced by frogman / Opening titles / Celebrities in ancient Rome / Tat auction with one bidder / Male rape victim / Millwall FC supporters transfer / TeleMexico (Korean and Bulgarian team names) / Head to head - holidays / Fast Lane Loony (song) / Swimming pool poseurs / Charity appeal - Wormigro (World Organization for Middle Income Groups) / Male pregnancy / Head to head - Club 18-30 holidays / Cryptic spies / "I can remember when this was all fields" / Job losses and gains / Medical

Football supporters (crashing plane) / Opening titles / Introduction - Mel adlibs ("knickers!") / Day centre for ugly children / Police firearms procedure / Blow the Wind Southerly (drama with microphone booms in shot throughout) / Vorsprung Durch Technik (car crash victim) / Home made video - Eastbourne / Bergicoat low fat paints / Don't drink paint (warning) / Arts Review - the irritable young men (John Upstart) / Head to head - jury duty / Open University physical chemistry course (unpleasant

Rushing to the studio / Opening titles / Judge berates barrister / Mexico 1910 / Cryptic spies / Arts underfunding / IBA interruption / An actor prepares (70mph crash) / Newsflash and Eastendersflash / Doctor's surgery - bad test results / Roy Hattersley's dentist / Head to head - the human body / Local cinema advertising / Suicide jumpers (the lift's been mended) / Police drug sniffer horse / It Doesn't Matter What We Play (song) / End credits / The Mattress by Carla Lane